my brother & Jesus

so my brother says to me the other day...I was reading the Bible the other day, and I have some good news. I love reading the Bible because it is the word of our Lord revealed to us through his only begotten son, Jesus Christ, who died for our sins and saved us.Saved us from what, exactly, isn't clear, because I think God was the one who was going to punish us for our sins in the first place. And since Jesus was God, does that mean God died to save us from God punishing us? It's all twisty. I prefer to believe that Jesus saved us from vampires. It clears up the confusion. Jesus fought a bunch of vampires and saved us. That's why you don't see any vampires these days. Well, you see fat guys in velveteen capes with runny make-up lisping in food courts, but it's not the same.